forty years old

a few words

Sep 19, 2024

I'm turning 40 tomorrow.

I don't remember much of my first decade. Some bits and pieces, but I often wonder what I actually remember myself and what I was simply told. The brain is tricky that way.

10 to 20 years old. Of my second decade, I mostly remember being bullied and made fun of. It was either my body or my clothes. Middle school. High school. Same story. Rich kids. Spoiled kids. A miserable, endless time that I somewhat still carry with me. Hang in there my dear teenagers, there will be light.

20 to 30 years old. Studying and working. 10-12 hours per day. Monday to Sunday. Meeting the most important person of my life. Emigrating. Living in the Netherlands, then moving to the States. Traveling around the world. But mostly, working all the time, anywhere. Not me anymore, but zero regrets. Work gave me a way to channel my need to prove myself and excel.

30 to 40 years old. The decade I'm wrapping up. I found my happiness and my peace with who I am and what I was able to do (and not able to do). I don't live anymore that mix of anxiety and need to prove myself that was my existence before. Some of my work (e.g. HRV-related things) became even more part of my identity, but at the same time, it is now less important. I don't need more. I don't want more. I'm in love. I'm healthy. Enough people respect the work I've done so that I can get to the end of the month. I moved to rural Italy for part of the year. I'm extremely lucky. I can appreciate what I have and what I have done. Oh, and I run. Sometimes a lot.

What lies ahead?

I don't know. I can't know. Since I started having a bit of an arrhythmia, I've been feeling more fragile. I am happy to be able to appreciate what I have. I am not chasing anything. I try to take it all in. I want to be present and keep doing my part. Time will tell.

To the next decade.

Marco holds a PhD cum laude in applied machine learning, a M.Sc. cum laude in computer science engineering, and a M.Sc. cum laude in human movement sciences and high-performance coaching.

He has published more than 50 papers and patents at the intersection between physiology, health, technology, and human performance.

He is co-founder of HRV4Training, advisor at Oura, guest lecturer at VU Amsterdam, and editor for IEEE Pervasive Computing Magazine. He loves running.

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